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A disconsolate former President George W. Bush
ponders what appears to be a bleak future

WASHINGTON DC (REUTERS) Citing what he described as a tragic example of poor cellular phone technology, CIA Director George Tennant confirmed Thursday that a garbled message had resulted in the agency toppling the administration of George W. Bush.

“There was a lot of static on the line,” said a sobbing Tennant. “I told covert operations, ‘Overthrow that elected bastard’, referring to Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez. I can only assume they thought I said, ‘Overthrow that unelected bastard!’”

On the orders of President for Life Frank Carlucci, Bush is reportedly being held in isolation at the College Of The Americas, where he will be interrogated. After the ruling junta learns everything Bush knows, which is expected to take several minutes, the deposed leader will undergo plastic surgery to make him look exactly like Osama bin Laden. He will then be exiled to New York City.

“Dubya has served his purpose. There is no longer any need for a figurehead,” said President Carlucci, adding that the American flag will immediately be replaced by an attractive banner that reads, “The Carlyle Group – Love It Or Leave It!”  

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Last changed: December 13, 2009